Tuesday, July 21, 2015

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Call Poison Control.

So, I had to call Poison Control on Angelina the Ballerina today.

I've been calling her Angelina the Ballerina because she demands to wear this tutu every day and she's a sneaky little mouse.
Angelina's been known to do things that she shouldn't do, like use my kitchen hardware as a ladder and dig into apple pie.

But today, girlfriend decided that she needed some Benadryl.
Let me back up just a bit here, ok.  You need to know the whole story.  Trust me.

My good friend Janis and I decided that we would have a play date with our combined total of 5 kids in the new house today!  So fun right?  You're already laughing at me aren't you?    I bake corn dogs, a nasty ready-made quiche pie, and load us up with the PW iced coffee.  Iced coffee with too much sweetened condensed milk can get you through just about anything.  At our last play date, we heard dude call Kinsley a "woodpecker"  to which she responded, "i'm not  a pecker, you're a pecker." Needless to say these play dates are very layed back and non pinterest-worthy.

We decide to let the kids play outside since it's a million degrees out.  I mean, we just want to love on the nine month old in peace and drink our sugar coffee.
Sidenote:  Aren't you jealous of my yard?  It has it's own built in mud puddle right outside my back door.
Anyway, Kid #1's grass allergies act up and Kid #2 finds an ant bed. CUE THE INFAMOUS BENADRYL.  So I give Kid #1 (which isn't mine) a dose of Benadryl and tell kid #2 (which is mine) who only got one ant bite to suck it up.  I screw on the top and set it on the counter.
We continue on through our play date & I hear one too many "no it's mine" and "i had it first"  out of my kid #2.  It's nap time for angelina the ballerina.

So, I lay her down and fix us another iced coffee:)  A little while later, I send the oldest of the crew to go check on her because you know silence can be dangerous.  She came back and told us that Annie's on the counter pouring mustard into her drink.  Yep, that sounds about right.  We go down to assess the damage and we find the Benadryl bottle empty.  Shit.  Janis shit.  Shit Janis.  Do you think she drank it all?  How?  I can barely open it!  We both remember there only being about 1/4 of it left in the bottle (thank God) and we're pretty sure she poured it in the quiche, but we couldn't be sure.  So I do what I do in all medical situations, I call Sarah.  Or better yet, Janis called Sarah and I called Poison Control.

Sweet Dorris answers and I told her that the absolute worst case scenario was that she drank 4-6 tsp, but she spilled some of it and I think some of it made it's way into the quiche.  Dorris put me on hold while she did some calculations and Janis asks,  "Jessi how do you spell quiche?"   "K-I-E-S-H" I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T SPELL QUICHE AT A TIME LIKE THIS.  For the record google says it's spelled 'quiche'.

Anyway, she tells me that she thinks we're gonna be ok and gave me the warning signs to look out for & that we would notice anything in 1-2 hours if it was going to affect her.   Janis says they will stick it out with us- I knew I loved her.  I ask her if she wants another coffee to which she declines because we've both hit our sugar limit for the day & we lay down with the littles for a while to monitor Angelina the Ballerina.

All of the sudden, Mallory (the oldest) comes running in the room saying and I quote, "I'm hiding from Hagan because Annie's poop is on Barbie's lamp and he's chasing me with it."  Dear God.
See, we're potty training Angelina the Ballerina.  And she's not quite there yet.  I proceed to clean Barbie's lamp & the petrified rabbit pellet that Mallory also pointed to under the TV.  God only knows when Angelina dropped that one.

The two hours expire and Janis & I get tickled about the day's events and laugh even harder because we think Annie never really drank any of the Benadryl.  The kids whined about having to leave each other and all was well that ends well.  The kids had fun and that's what it's all about. Screw you pinterest and your perfect play dates.   Now that I know Angelina is alright, it's actually pretty funny.
I sent Janis this text

Here's the crew:)

I think the 9 month old is the most sane out of the whole group, adults included.
I hope you enjoyed my mishaps in parenting, until next time!
And in case you forgot this mishap  story
It's a good one too:)

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