Sunday, April 21, 2013

Jessi vs. the Double Stroller...

Do you ever have days when you feel like the universe is out to get you?  
Well, I sure do.  They frequently occur when Rudy is gone.  For me, they normally start out great & end with a boom.  Just when I feel like I can do this single parent thing, just when I feel like mom of the year, just when I feel like I have it all together, the universe gives me a swift kick in the rear.  Sometimes I take it in stride and sometimes I lose it and act like a complete & total lunatic.  Well, here's a funny ' the universe is out to get me ' story.  Enjoy.
Rudy was at work & the kids were getting over yet another sickness, when I decided it was a good idea to go to our local shoe store.  This particular shoe store had been known to cause me serious anxiety, but I was feeling froggy and ready to show that shoe store who's boss.  Dude needed a pair of sandals before Easter and we all needed to get out of the house.
We pulled up and dude started popping off his demands and Annie was fussing because she hates her car seat.  That should have been my sign to throw the car in reverse & try our luck tomorrow.  Not to mention, it was getting close to nap time, but dude NEEDED those shoes.  If I didn't get them today, they might sell out before Easter and where else would I find cute sandals.  God forbid he not have the perfect Easter shoes.  The things that run through your mind sometimes.  I had decided we didn't need to bring the front & back bus stroller, we would just use the side by side double umbrella stroller.  It was lighter and much easier to push & maneuver.  I loaded Annie first and noticed the straps were looser than I remembered, so I tightened them up, and strapped her in.  One kid down, one kid to go.   I placed dude in his side and noticed the straps were too tight. Crap.  I loaded Annie in the wrong side.  Grrr.  I gave myself the pep talk of it's no big deal, just loosen the straps, once they are all loaded it will be downhill from there.  Must. get. kid. in. stroller.  So, I blocked dude in between the stroller and the tire with my leg (quite the sight, huh?), loosened the straps, and strapped him in.  I was so proud that both kids were loaded and that I never said one single cuss word.  Things were looking up, until we made it to the door.
It didn't take me very long to realize that the stroller was too wide for the door.  Sarah's warnings of the side by side stroller not fitting in every store ran through my head.  Cue my first cuss word.  "oh hell no, I didn't just load up these kids only to not get in the door"  We did the 'maybe if I keep ramming this stroller, we may miraculously fit' a few times.  Followed by the wiggle.  You know the wiggle, where you shimmy the stroller side to side to try and fit it through an obstacle. Finally, it occurred to me that the only way she was going in was sideways.  So sideways we went.  Somehow, we made it in without anyone in the store seeing (or hearing) our fiasco.  I pulled myself together and acted like I semi had it together.   We looked like one cute little shopping family, but really the kids were grouchy and I had sweaty arm pits.  
The sweet manager helped us find dude some sandals and we even got to browse the store for a few minutes.  Demanding dude wanted to hold a stuffed owl, so I let him.  While checking out, I remembered the owl and told him that the owl lived in the store & we couldn't take him from his home. (like he really cared that the owl would be displaced from his home) He replied with a sassy "mine" and I could feel the cashier's eyes blaring in the back of my head.  I checked the price tag and it was $29.99.  There was no way I was paying that for a stuffed owl, just because my kid needed a nap.   As I pried it out of his arms, I noticed he had snotted all over the owl.  The cashier noticed too.  Good thing they didn't have a "you snot on it, you buy it" policy, though they probably should have.  We made it through checkout and by this time I was more than ready to get out of the store.  BUT HOLY CRAP I FORGOT ABOUT THE STUPID DOOR.  I was over my pride by this point and I asked for help.  I loaded both kids in the car & vowed to never leave the house without help again.  Meanwhile, dude was still crying because of that stupid snotty owl and Annie was crying because she hates her carseat.  I couldn't throw the car into reverse fast enough, when CRUNCH.  Oh shit, the stroller.  I ran over the stroller.  I'm not even kidding, I couldn't make this crap up.  I threw the stroller into the trunk with every thing I had in me and drove home.  I mean, what can you do? 
I'm happy to report that the stroller survived & so did I.  The stroller was bent and my pride was bruised, but we made it and by golly my kid had cute Easter sandals.  I now do my shopping with one or no kids:)  Hope this post made you giggle like I'm doing right now:)  


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